7 Life Lessons I learned as a Digital Nomad

1. Stop chasing for something better

I recently went back to Las Palmas, one of the cities that I consider as one of the best places for digital nomads. They have great coffeeshops, my most favourite coworking and a great nomad community .

While I was there, I met Peter in a surf lesson. We had a little chat and he told me that him and his wife only moved to Las Palmas 3 months ago. They were just starting their digital nomad journey and Las Palmas was their first stop and when they decided to settle here. And they just bought a house.

"Don't you want to see if there's something else out there?" was my first reaction. There are so many amazing places and each of them have so much to offer.

Of course, there's always something better out there. But why keep chasing when we're happy here?

He simply replied "We liked it here, we felt welcomed and it has everything we're looking for: the ocean, mountains, a good health system and everything is convenient. Of course, there's always something better out there. But why keep chasing when we're happy here?"

And that answer stuck with me. Peter is a few generations older than me. I'm in my 30s, I assume he's in his 50s, maybe even 60s and he's still going strong surfing everyday and keeping himself busy.

What he said stuck with me: In times of FOMO where we're constantly seeing what our friends are up to, we can easily feel like our life isn't as great as other's. But you don't always know how things are really like elsewhere, you only see a highlight reel.

Life lesson #1

Enjoy where you are now, because that's the only place where you can be. It's a waste of time to keep looking for something better. And if you actually stop for a moment and look around, you'll see how great it is right where you are.

2. Let people know you're happy they're here

While in Chiang Mai, I met Jenny. She's a digital nomad from Taiwan and has a remarkable talent of making people feel welcome. Every time someone she knows enters the room, she lights up! And not in a fake way, she is genuinely is happy to see you. And she has no hesitation to show that.

Now when I know I'll meet her, I'm so looking forward to it, because I can tell she's excited to meet me, just as much as I'm excited to see her. It makes me feel appreciated and it's rare to come across people who are so kind-hearted.

I wonder sometimes if we're trying too hard to 'play it cool'. Not being the first to text, not being the one asking the other person to grab a coffee - which is valid for both platonic and romantic relationships. Sometimes I wonder if we're having even more hesitation to text someone we only just met on a platonic level than someone we see in a romantic way.

Life lesson #2

Knowing that someone is looking forward to seeing you makes you look forward to see them. No matter how well or little you know people: make them feel welcomed.

3. Shit happens

In times of instant gratification, where everything is just a tap away, it's easy to complain when something doesn't go as planned. But when you travel, there are so many things you can't plan for.

Missed flights, issues with the accommodation, unexpected nights out where you didn't show up according to dress code or taxi drivers overcharging you.
Some of these are easy to fix, others can be quite expensive mistakes that you learn the hard way and can ruin a travel experience.

Last week, I missed my flight due to a boarding gate issue. That cost me £150 to rebook so I don't lose the other legs.

My airbnb had mould, I asked the staff if there are other rooms available, they said they're fully booked. So I asked if I could move to another room later (I was staying for 3 weeks) and they told me to check with Airbnb, because that's how I booked the accommodation.

Airbnb offered me a reduced rate for the days I stay until I found an alternative, but they couldn't reach me, so when I came back to the accommodation, the staff told me to talk to the host on the phone. He told me to leave the accommodation immediately because he's losing out on money.

So I got kicked out at 10pm at night, in the dark, as a solo traveller, not knowing where to go. Luckily I had a friend accompany me and he stayed with me until I found a good place to stay where I didn't have to breath in mouldy air.

The thing is: unexpected things happen. Shit happens, no matter how much you research a place.

Life lesson #3

Have a "Shit happens" savings bucket. Missed flight, bad accommodations screwed over by a person overcharging you... when you travel, there will be unexpected events which means there will be unexpected expenses. Just keep a backup of savings.

4. We don't know what other people think of us

We all have self doubts and worry about how we come across. It's a natural human trait. It's to protect ourselves from rejection because back in the cave men days, if we would be rejected by the tribe, our survival chances would be very low.

Nowadays we don't really need a tribe to survive. But we need a tribe to be supported and avoid depression and mental health issues.

One thing I used to do was to worry what people think of me. To some extend I'm still doing that now, but not as much as I used to.

Am I too loud? Am I too boring? Am I overdressed? Do I come across stupid? Was that rude? And each time someone would look at me, I'd think something like "Oh, they're probably thinking I shouldn't be here. Or that I'm a little know-it-all."

But in reality, I have no clue what they're thinking. And chances are, they're not thinking about me at all - but are thinking about themselves and how they might come across.

You're not who you think you are. You're not who other people think you are. You're what you think other people think you are.

(I overheard that quote above in some podcast but can't remember which one, so if you know who originally said it, please let me know so I can quote them in this article)

I wish I knew this one sooner. I once heard the quote "You're not who you think you are. You're not who other people think you are. You're what you think other people think you are."

So this means, that if we come up with a negative thought that we think others think of us, we have the power to change that to something positive. No matter if the positive or negative thought our brain comes up with is true or not, we will never find out. But we can choose to come up with positive thoughts rather than negative ones. This might sound stupid and is definitely easier said than done. But once you train that skill it will improve your self image.

Life lesson #4

You don't know what other people think. But you can train yourself to think they think well of you rather than negatively. It's not easy, but thinking others have a good perception of yourself makes life easier. And since I changed that mindset, I feel more confident entering a group of strangers.

5. It doesn't matter where you are but who you're with

I've been in Phuket during monsoon season. There was terrible flooding and it rained 90% of the day.

I've been in Chiang Mai during burning season. The air pollution was terrible and the activities I usually like to do in Chiang Mai, like going on a hike, were impossible because of how the bad air affected my health.

Some places just suck. They might not suck all the time (I absolutely love Chiang Mai! But not during burning season). Some places are great but for some reason you can't feel at ease.

It's not the place that makes your experience great, it's the people.

On the contrary, I went to Lisbon in Spring. The weather was great, not too hot, not too cold. Surfing was amazing too! I was there for about 2 months but it was only towards the end when I started to enjoy my time there. Simply because I stayed in a coliving where I didn't feel included and it took a while to make friends outside that coliving.

But even though I went to some great places at the wrong time, I still had a great time. I still remember what one of my friends, Emma, told me while we were together at uni. We both studied in Stoke-on-Trent in the UK. It's a shit hole, not much to do. But it was still amazing because of the people we met during our studies. And Emma told me one thing: "It's not the place that makes your experience great, it's the people." which is still true, no matter if you're a student or a digital nomad.

Life lesson #5

If you're with the right people, it doesn't matter where you are, which event you go to, or if you just stay in your accommodation to avoid the weather. Life's beauty comes from the connections you make.

6. Some things take time

I was super excited when I decided to go to Lisbon. I was there in the past but not as a digital nomad. I booked myself into a coliving, as I usually do, but this one was slightly different. It had two buildings, one which had a shared living area, the other one didn't. I ended up in the one wihtout the shared space, so I didn't get the community and connections that you usually get when booking a coliving. I would've been better off booking an Airbnb to myself.

Anyway, there are Whatsapp groups, Facebook groups and GGI and that's what I used to meet people. And I made great friends in the end. It just took a little longer.

I'm glad that Lisbon wasn't one of the first destinations I went to. It might have put me off the whole nomading thing. I felt quite lonely and thought there's something wrong with me or that people here don't like me. But I also met another guy there who arrived around the same time as me and he said that he's been in other colivings before. He mentioned that after 4 days/ a week, he'd usually have a regular group of people he'd hang out with. But that didn't happen in the coliving we stayed. So I was glad to here it wasn't me, it was that the place lacked community.

It's not you. It's not me. Sometimes it's the coliving.

But after that month, instead of having a group I'd hang out with, I met a bunch of individuals and created strong connections.

Life lesson #6

Nowadays, where everything is just a tap away and waiting 7 minutes for the next train to arrive feels like a lifetime, we forget that good things can take time. And it's not the time itself that passes, but what happens in that time. The conversations you have with people, the thing you learn about them and from them. The things you learn about yourself through them. I still find it amazing how much you can learn from complete strangers.

7. High expectations can diminish a great experience

Do you love New Years? I would always look forward to it: A night out with my friends, good food, nice drinks, fireworks! And the more I was looking forward to it, the more disappointing the evening would become. It's because I had such high expectations.

It's the same when you travel: If you think a place will be amazing and you get there and it rains all the time, or maybe the accommodation isn't like on the pictures, you'll be disappointed.
If you go to that same place, expecting things to go wrong and they don't, it'll feel like a great trip.

By setting expectations you put an anchor somewhere. And if whatever happens is below that, it'll feel disappointing, even though it would've been a great experience on any other day.

Of course, there's also self-fulfilling believes. Maybe having high expectations will make a place great, but from what I've learned so far, it never did. It was when I didn't think much of something that it turned out amazing.

Life lesson #7

Lower your expectations. Then everything will feel like a cherry on top.

This is what I learned while travelling so far. Hope this article was useful for you.

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